Blustery day at Stonehenge, England
I’m am obsessed with understanding. I drive people crazy. Many have told me that I’m too analytical. True, I love to analyze, but that’s only one of my methods. I also experiment, mostly on myself and often on others. C’mon… Ya know you do it too!
Life is one big experiment. None of us knows how it’s going to turn out. We don’t even know how the next five minutes will turn out, even if we muster all our acumen and power to make it go right instead of left. I decided to stop bucking the inevitable and, for the most part, observe. An amazing thing happens when you stop trying to make things happen and start engaging with them as they are. You start to see what’s there. I’m finding out that I like what I see. I’m also finding out that it’s safer than I thought, and that I’m more powerful than I realized.
I started this blog to work through my spiritual reconstruction with the help of others. My world-view has disintegrated 5 times, and that’s just so far:
- When I realized my parents and WASP mentality not only couldn’t answer my questions, they didn’t even know what the questions were. So I started preparations to go live in the woods. No joke.
- When I realized that God exists and became a “born-again Christian.”
- When I realized that a Mormon friend had every reason for her faith as I did for mine, and started my first spiritual deconstruction.
- When I got involved in a quasi-cult known as Smith’s Friends and left family and friends behind to move to Seattle.
- When Smith’s Friends excommunicated me for demanding answers to my questions, and then my wife divorced me because I wouldn’t “humble” myself and “repent.”
The last 18 years have been about surviving, healing, and in the last few, rediscovering God and Jesus, and finally experiencing some of the power I read about in the Bible and elsewhere.
So here I am in all my… well, you let me know what you think. 😉
PS. While you’re at it, check out my other blogs:
Check out the madness behind the method here – http://millardjmelnyk.wordpress.com/
Philosophically inclined and wanna wrangle? – http://scattersophic.wordpress.com/
Here’s my mashup, everything in one place – http://millardjmelnyk.tumblr.com/
To Christians 
Millard. Eric and I went to high school with you. We’re also deconstructed Christians (God works us hard) and ex-culties (okay, when we were in our late teens and twenties, but it still counts) — and at the moment Eric is reading a long intellectual treatise that you posted on your blog: “Controlling the Narrative, Part III.” He loves it….but it’s too deep for me on this Labor Day morning, so here I am, looking for background on you, our new friend.
Hi Anna! Eric and I just connected on Facebook. Are you on there, too? I’d be glad to chat. “Millard Melnyk” is my personal page. I also have a “Millard J Melnyk” for (hopefully) professional stuff as a writer. (Just getting going…) Please friend the one without the middle initial. I’m on it much more often. Thanks!
Hi back! Not on Facebook. Feels too much like getting one of those “family Christmas letters” 365 days a year. So I’ll have to muddle through with your J page! I’m a writer too (though when I’m on deadline I wish I were anything but). Don’t know much about blogs, though. Am I writing to, like, a thousand people here?
I get you. I’ve got your “household” email address from the blog user info. OK if I reply there?
Absolutely.
Millard…….I have had a very tough week with caring for a very sick wife and daughter and a personal issue with my K of C Council…I’ll share with you later. I have not thrown the towel in on our “threads” and I pray you haven’t either. Will be in touch…LOVE YOUR SITE! God Bless….David
David, somehow I never saw this comment. As you can see, I took a break, but I didn’t throw in the towel. I look forward to hearing from you the next time. 🙂
Right now I’m reading “Justice What’s The Right Thing To Do.” Although its about 11 years old today figuring out what to do seems more important than ever because the D.O.J. is showing itself to not be about justice but about protecting predators. I’m not that far into the book yet but for dealing with what we’ve already spoken about, I find this to quote enlightening, “A philosophy untouched by the shadows on the wall can only yield a sterile Utopia.” This means a lot to me, having more than my share of first hand experience with predator sociopaths and the chronic narcissists who adore them. I’m beginning to believe its that sterile Utopia the children of God are trying to prevent. Which is why figuring out how to stop the psychopaths without killing them the way they are enjoying killing us seems so important. Thus far how I’ve been fighting it has been to do public on my own blogs. They are trying to use the courts to take down my only way to make it. Really its a First Amendment issue. I have no idea how its going to turn out, but its nice to see folks such as yourself using the same public medium for reporting that so far cannot be taken away.
Psychotropic Recovery, thanks for your comment, and all the best in your work and struggles! I agree about sterile Utopias. Something I’ve not seen anyone recognize is that Utopias don’t fail because they’re too idealistic, sterile, or naive — they fail because they cling to authoritarianism.
Thomas More’s *Utopia* was as authoritarian as could be. Hoping for good results from authoritarian systems is like trying to bake cakes in the outhouse: no matter how great the recipes, they’re still gonna stink.
I’m following an insidious strategy that makes it look like I’m just another nut pumping out sterile Utopias: stay so general that I don’t trigger any alarms. In the meantime, get the ideas out there, seeds in people’s minds that will over time start sprouting and making connections with what they see happening. By the time it gets clear to authoritarians that shit’s getting real, there will be too many people in too many circles and the ideas will be too pervasive to use their customary methods.
You can’t cut the head off the snake when you’re looking at an ant invasion, lol. And although these loopheads pretend to be gods who can exterminate mere ants, they’re just ants themselves with great projection equipment. And all us other ants are figuring it out. Their time is up.
I’ve already declared that the State is dead — not that my declaration will kill it. I’m just giving voice to what has already happened. When a tree’s roots get past a certain point of damage, the tree is dead, even if it sprouts leaves for a few more seasons. Nothing will resuscitate it. The State has passed that point. That’s a big reason why it’s revealed its true nature as a circus and a farce: it’s going through the dementia just before the shutdown.
I would have followed you or subscribed to your blog, but couldn’t find a way. I’d like to keep in touch. Feel free to email me: millardjmelnyk@gmail.com.
Again, all the best! 🙂
I see that you have written a lot of hate towards Smith’s friends. You are wrong in almost everything you say. Please do some real research and talk to the people In BCC before you say anything. Me myself know the leaders personally, I wont say my age but i am under 25 and understand everything that is going on in BCC. You can say whatever you want about us but please do some real research and dont believe what the news says about us. http://www.activechristianity.org http://www.bcc.no
Well, sorry, Anonymous. I’ve known SV/BCC since long before you were born, spent 15 years in it and 25 years watching/researching/studying it after I left. So you are incorrect. And I’m sorry you see hate towards Smith’s Friends when there is none. It is possible to love a person while hating what they’ve done. You should know that.
But your judgment is typical of the cultist mindset. Questions, criticism, objections, and opposition to the harm a cult does are always taken narcissistically by cultists. You are just proving what I’ve said.
PS. My first summer conference was 1977. That’s when I decided to join ‘the church’. Were your parents even married yet? 🙂
Hy! Și totuși ca sa poți sa înțelegi biserica trebuie sa fii sincer cu tine însuți și sa ai o relație maxima cu Dumnezeu. Atunci când vei caută cu adevărat viața din Dumnezeu și Îți vei dori din toată inima sa o trăiești vei gusta și altceva. Din păcate aproape tot ce ai scris despre biserica lui Smith este fals. Este doar o părere proprie. Această biserică înseamnă mult mai mult! Viața care am primit-o aici este de neprețuit. Dar rămân la asta, atunci când vei caută din toată inima pentru Dumnezeu nu această biserică, sincer, nu vei mai scrie asemenea articole. Mult succes!
Hi Maia and thanks for your comment. I’ll reply in English for the sake of those like me who can’t speak Romanian.
I’ve known Smith’s Friends since 1977, intimately. I know what I’m talking about. I also recognize that much has changed since I left, most of it superficial and outward change. The core thinking remains the same.
It’s so interesting that suddenly, after Smith, Larsen and company have been working for several years to get in good with the mainstream Christian community — something for which J. O. Smith would have chewed them out for and stripped them of their positions and power — his Etterlatte Brev were ‘corrected’ and his ‘hidden’ letters that just so happen to soften the elitism that ruled in Smith’s Friends since its beginning miraculously have been ‘discovered’. I’m sorry if you can’t see through that charade. The timing is just too pat.
I’m also sorry that you reduce my life experience to mere ‘opinion’, as if yours were somehow superior, but that’s typical Smith’s Friends ‘thinking’. I don’t blame you. That’s how you were taught.
I guess I’ll just say that good, loving churches don’t have leaders who flee their ‘beloved’ country to avoid prosecution by the authorities for fraud, tax evasion, and money laundering like Bernt Aksel Larsen and Kåre J. Smith are doing. The net on them is closing, and more and more are seeing through their scam. You might consider that you don’t have all the facts. But, given your comment, I wonder if you actually want them. Do you?
Thank you for commenting this! I was just about to say the same thing. This site is full of false information.
hderkatch,
If anything is false, then please specifically give the facts that contradict what I said as well as specifically what I said that was contradicted by the facts.
I’ll correct *everything* that is actually false.
Any fool can make vague claims. I’m not interested in what fools have to say other than to out their folly.
But I’ll also predict that you will not respond.
Sorry to read your story and experiences Millard.
I’ve posted my own back in early 2000s on a blog that you participated in http://fivepts.blogspot.com/2006/08/is-this-cult.html under the username “The Truth”. I commend you on your efforts in educating individuals who are researching “Smiths Venner”, “Brunstad Christian Church” or “Active Christianity” (and any other future re-branding attempts).
What they did to you, your wife and family is disgraceful and completely unchristian and unbiblical.
Matthew 19:6: So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”.
Reading on the latest news regarding the group, the love of money and greed of the leadership has only accelerated.
I also find their outreach to other Christians to be hilarious. I guess they are no longer considered the harlot? (while SFF are the chosen bride)
When I was in the group, they openly mocked and ridiculed every other Christian denomination. It was a central part to every meeting and conference.
Now I see in Brunstad, they’ve completed relaxed their former regulations. The women do not cover anymore, wear questionable clothing (by their former standards), they rent out BCC and their other churches across the globe to “worldly” groups they used to detest… I guess nothing should stand in the way of a revenue stream.
I also noticed the financial pressures have greatly increased on the membership. When I was there, we had “Davids columns” (you would fill up with $2 coins) and set figure you would donate quarterly. We were also coerced into taking out considerable loans to pay “our debt” to Brunstad. (mid 2000s)
Ultimately, they will be judged by God. The leadership and their enablers will not take these material possessions to heaven. It is unfortunate that many people will be “burnt” in the process and ostracised or fear ostracisation from what essentially is a glorified country club, where your entire social matrix is created and maintained (hence the necessity to meet their financial quotas or lose it all).
All the best.
Thank you very much. Yes that conversation on blogspot was a good one and takes me back.
We were not the only family BCC has broken up, there must be scores by now. What they did was bad enough, but what got to me was the relish they did it with. They reveled in their ‘power’ to destroy, the very opposite of real power, i.e., antichrist.
In case you hadn’t seen it, I wrote up what they’ve been up to as best I could about a year ago, gathering info from people who are still connected somewhat to the group, “Decades of Atrocities in Smith’s Friends, aka Brunstad Christian Church (BCC)” https://tochristians.wordpress.com/decades-of-atrocities-in-smiths-friends-aka-brunstad-christian-church-bcc/.
Before God gets to them, though, Smith and Larsen are likely to face European courts. They got BCC’s top accountant dead to rights (fraud, embezzlement, money laundering) and he’s giving up the goods on KJS and BAL, who fled Norway over a year ago to avoid the authorities. I understand that the case is now moving ahead (it stalled while trying to get KJS and BAL to cooperate), so hopefully that will mean frozen accounts and extradition unless they give themselves up. It will be interesting to see how members react to their ‘men of God’ being convicted of serious crimes. I suppose some will wake up and others will shove their heads further into the hallucinogenic sand.
Take care my friend. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. Much appreciated. 🙂
Thank you for the response,
I have indeed read the post and it does not surprise me.
There was never any financial accountability. Members who had donated thousands, through their own money or loans and mortgages… never received an independently audited report on how the money was being spent. It was always sold to us that the money was being used to “spread the gospel”.
There was never any details provided about the corporate governance structure of the “church”. We were all treated like sheep… who were targeted in meetings by being compared to “snakes” if we did not donate enough or travel to Norway and work freely for (A-lag “A-Team”, free labour for “brothers” businesses).
The complete opposite of the teachings of Christ who came to liberate people and not place them under bondage and laws. One individual who they repeatedly heaped scorn upon was Zac Poonen from India. Ironically on matters of finance, he is 100% correct. He does not take money from those who are in debt and rather they should pay their debts first.
It is also interesting because charitable giving to “worldly charities” was deeply frowned upon. Kare himself stated that people in Africa and other third world continents/countries should not receive money/handouts but rather find work for themselves.
I am doubtful of any prosecution by authorities as generally they prefer to stay away from religious institutions, however- even if it were to take place, I know how the membership would react. The view in the church is that Kare is the equivalent to apostle Paul, and therefore the “worldly authorities” targeting Kare would only see them double down on their loyalty. They would view the prosecution of Kare as the prosecution of Paul by the Romans.
The major difference though, Paul was seeking the Kingdom of God and not money and materialism.
What you say about families being broken up is 100% correct, I have also witnessed this happen to other families. They will repeatedly try to retain some members of a family if the head of the family leaves. It can go on for years until they “give up”. They use the same tactics they used against you- that if you leave the one true church who will be represented on the 144,000 on Zion (and the bride), you will fall away from the flock and be lost to the world thus facing eternal condemnation. To them the body of Christ was always limited to Smiths Venner.
Yeah, that all rings true… too true unfortunately. I’m afraid you might be right. I keep hoping that the far freer flow of information these days will have a gradual effect on cults of all kinds — cultic thinking isn’t confined to religions. I’m always too optimistic on timeframes, though. It would be wonderful if I started seeing the beginnings of cracks in cultic walls before I go. Meanwhile I’m just gonna keep swinging my hammer. I used to work construction. Some concrete is harder than others. You never know which blow will do it. And the truth is that the 3rd or 4th blow previous was the real breaking point, we just don’t see those first micro-cracks that inevitably lead to the crumbling. I have no doubt the walls are coming down though, sooner or later…
soooooooooo were charges ever pressed against them? Also aren’t you basically trying to start a cult yourself by spreading your “facts” vs I don’t know say people who have been there just as long “facts”. There is a lot of he said she said. (just a thought) See a psychologist from the sounds of it you have mental trauma, I mean it has been as you said “25 years”. Also do you have a degree in anything or you just blabber opinions and your own understanding from stalking a church and reading philosophical books?
Well, Wasting, you sound anything but bored… 😀
Nor do you sound like you’re just amusing yourself to break the boredom. You don’t sound amused at all.
How am I to take your comment? Hmm… Let’s see…
Yes, charges have been filed. They’ve been “pressed” for decades but only recently filed, a big one in the Netherlands in 2016 which will lead to many more being filed, (kinda what happens when you get the accountant dead to rights,) and at a number of different authorities in both Norway and the Netherlands. I heard tell of actions in Germany, but don’t have any specific info on those.
Sorry that you’re apparently unaware. You might want to read some of the Norwegian papers like Tønsbergs Blad, Aftenposten, Gjengangeren, Dagens Næringsliv and others that have been covering BCC scandals and suspicious activity for at least the last decade. Catch up, k?
If that’s a too big a bite for ya, here ya go, in English even: https://www.nrc.nl/nieuws/2016/11/05/how-the-leaders-of-the-sectarian-smiths-friends-enrich-themselves-a1530346
Oops, that one used to be open, now it’s behind a paywall. No worries, I’d saved a copy offline. You can read it here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1YF3_bjUnQTihr_IFYI5BO2eAOS7HqnmA
Unfortunately that PDF didn’t preserve links to the many supporting documents NRC included behind those thumbnails, including legal documents, financial statements, and emails. But you get the idea.
“There’s a lot of he said she said”.
Well, of course there is. And plenty of I said, too. Find me any kind of reporting anywhere that doesn’t boil down to “‘He said and she said,’ I said.” At the very best a reporter was an eye witness and then he or she said, lol.
The difference between me and you on that point is that I don’t accuse you or BCC or Smith or Larsen or Nilsen (now that she’s filling Larsen’s void) of doing the same things that everyone else does including you and me.
So you come here with uninformed guesses disguised as rhetorical questions about my intentions, education, and mental health, but supposedly I’m the one blabbering opinions and “your own understanding” — a favorite BCC thought-termination cliché if there ever was one.
And you seem to be serious about it, lol.
That’s rich.
So am I to take it that you are not just blabbering opinions and your own understanding? So you’re above all that unreliable, self-centered stuff, O ye Bride of Christ? (You’re really funny, just where you’re not trying to be.) Or maybe you’re just a true-believing member parroting the opinions and understanding of “the brothers” ?
Do they still talk in the “inner circles” about “blow your reason into pieces” and “become a zero” (thanks so much for that gem, Elias Aslaksen!) and “I am nothing” and “follow the brothers, not your own understanding!” etc?
Let me know what to think, so it’s not just my own blabbering and opinions, k?
As for “trying to start a cult yourself”, I can understand that’s the only conclusion a cultist could draw, since the only possibilities for a cultist are “in my cult” or “against my cult in another cult”, otherwise there’s just flat out nowhere at all to be.
But it betrays your poor reading comprehension.
If you understood a single thing I’ve written, you’d know I’m all about inciting ALL of us to leave cultism behind, stop lying, start being honest, and stop cliquing up each in our own little “camp” pretending everyone else is out to get us.
No, ya just don’t figure that prominently in everyone else’s scheme of things. Sorry, boo.
But this question is dogging me now: How come, when you don’t understand a single thing I write, do you pretend as if you knew enough to challenge it?
I’m not sure that even a donkey would believe that malarkey.
I’m sorry, but now that I’ve thought it through, (which is what writing does for me, another thing I’ve stated that you don’t seem to get,) I’m pretty sure you’re chock full of horseshit.
“Stalking” a church was a good one, LMAO!
Pooh widdow innocent BCC getting stalked and attacked by all those big, bad, mean “opposers” who want to “destroy the church” !! Woe is thee, woe is thee.
And they (again, people I know) act like the “Church of the Living God” is something that’s actually at risk, as if it could really be destroyed. Otherwise why the retaliatory reactions? Why divorce and break up families? Why not belly-laughs and, ‘Cmon, guy, you’re tripping. Here, have a little kremkaker and calm down a bit…’ ?
Funny too, why didn’t the New Testament writers worry that their church could be destroyed?
Different church?
Let me clue you in. When any and all criticism or opposition gets taken as the work of the devil, (yes, as far as those I still know in BCC are concerned, 25+ years later they’re still sure I have an “evil spirit”, poor things,) you can be quite sure that you’re dealing with a cult.
Criticism and opposition just don’t make normally healthy, well-adjusted, secure people jump to the conclusion that, “They hate us! They’re full of bitterness! They’re trying to destroy us! Someone call the W-W-W-WAAAAMBULANCE!” XD
As if BCC has never done anything that could be criticized or censured or apologized for.
Get a load of Berit Nilsen’s recent victimspeak lament. ~~Sure we’re homophobic, but that’s no reason to attack us! We have rights too!~~ smh
(https://www.vl.no/meninger/spaltist/frihet-for-homofile-og-kristne-1.1649223 but again, behind a paywall and in Norwegian. You can read a translation at https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ifPQYd9HIoZHoiOe8shHSRwkwYe25FTF)
It’s on a par with her 2017 piece, “Unfair claims about BCC”.
The harassment of it all, I tell ya! Why can’t BCC do whateverthefuck it wants and not get criticized or called out? Why does everybody hate them? (Where’s that wambulance when you need it, anyway?)
So, if they’re so squeaky clean, why have they published barely plausible but revealing statements to the tune of, ‘Well maybe we hurt people *in the past* and IF SO, and IF THEY come to us and let us know, we’ll be happy to hear what they have to say,’ over the last several years? Larsen’s words from 2016, the first inkling that BCC might admit some wrongdoing, still ring in my ears:
//
BCC consists of people. BCC’s leadership is also human. These are people who have devoted their lives to doing good to others and who have as their overriding focus to develop in goodness and in their ability to help others. Even so, they can still take missteps. Therefore, I cannot ignore the fact that there could be some of those who have quit the church who may have been wronged. Should this be the case, I feel BCC is very interested in cleaning up and putting those matters in order. Therefore, I would like to invite any such persons to contact the church. I’m pretty sure they will find a hand outstretched by leaders who are interested in cleaning up.
//
(https://berntaksel.no/2016/01/de-som-forlater-bcc/ my translation with help from Google)
” I’m pretty sure they will find a hand outstretched by leaders who are interested in cleaning up.” Sound sincere to you? What, wasn’t he #2 top leader at the time, but he was only “pretty sure”? Plus he implies that there are leaders who are not interested in cleaning up. Does that include KJS?
Would you buy doublespeak like those pieces above from a corporation that fucked up your loved ones? If so, I’m glad we’re not relatives. (We’re not, are we? Since you’ve chosen to speak from behind a mask, I’d have no way of knowing.)
Why would I buy doublespeak from liars like Smith and Larsen who don’t even have the guts to talk with a nobody like me (for over 25 years and counting), assuming you think I should?
By the way, where’d Larsen hole up? Not a peep from him since he closed down his blog and wrote a goodbye “Thanks for me” on Vårt Land in Nov 2018. Good legal strategy, though. I wonder who will roll on the other first, now that Jonathan van der Linden has rolled on them?
If you were honest, we could have an honest discussion, and I’d be glad to have one no matter how irked-to-irate you might be about what I write. Talking with people who disagree with us is how we learn. Kicking them out of our lives is how we petrify.
At the moment, though, no joy.
And just for reference, this is how I amuse myself when I have nothing better to do. As well as writing up an post for submission to Vårt Land. Actually, I do have something better to do, but I needed a break after working on it all week.
Tomorrow, though, break over and back to the book. 🙂
haha that was fun
hi you are amazing !! and I hope you will reach grace of God because you are in contact with really really bad spirits, 😥
all you need to know is Ephesians 6:12…….everything else is illusion
Giselle, which spirits are you referring to? Awful spirits gravitate to anyone who lies. I’m not lying. 😊
Gosh dang, quit the Yapping would ya! You just got nothing good to say huh?
Relevant enough to make you yap your opinion