I’m am obsessed with understanding. I drive people crazy. Many have told me that I’m too analytical. True, I love to analyze, but that’s only one of my methods. I also experiment, mostly on myself and often on others. C’mon… Ya know you do it too!
Life is one big experiment. None of us knows how it’s going to turn out. We don’t even know how the next five minutes will turn out, even if we muster all our acumen and power to make it go right instead of left. I decided to stop bucking the inevitable and, for the most part, observe. An amazing thing happens when you stop trying to make things happen and start engaging with them as they are. You start to see what’s there. I’m finding out that I like what I see. I’m also finding out that it’s safer than I thought, and that I’m more powerful than I realized.
I started this blog to work through my spiritual reconstruction with the help of others. My world-view has disintegrated 5 times, and that’s just so far:
- When I realized my parents and WASP mentality not only couldn’t answer my questions, they didn’t even know what the questions were. So I started preparations to go live in the woods. No joke.
- When I realized that God exists and became a “born-again Christian.”
- When I realized that a Mormon friend had every reason for her faith as I did for mine, and started my first spiritual deconstruction.
- When I got involved in a quasi-cult known as Smith’s Friends and left family and friends behind to move to Seattle.
- When Smith’s Friends excommunicated me for demanding answers to my questions, and then my wife divorced me because I wouldn’t “humble” myself and “repent.”
The last 18 years have been about surviving, healing, and in the last few, rediscovering God and Jesus, and finally experiencing some of the power I read about in the Bible and elsewhere.
So here I am in all my… well, you let me know what you think. 😉
PS. While you’re at it, check out my other blogs:
Check out the madness behind the method here – http://millardjmelnyk.wordpress.com/
Philosophically inclined and wanna wrangle? – http://scattersophic.wordpress.com/
Here’s my mashup, everything in one place – http://millardjmelnyk.tumblr.com/